damn, I went for the Phoebe haircut...

I kind of preferred Joey anyways...

probably shouldn't tell him I study dead people...

Or maybe I should.

"Hi, I study dead people... including dead babies, what are your interests?"

this one is single how?

I'm pretty sure that line is used for destination travel commercials where they show people scuba diving. I have to admit, I do love the beach, but I'm not too fond of crabs.

you don't say...

I'm so mesmerized by your headline... it's so catchy and confident, I must know more!!

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!

But hey, if want to dispense nickels for me to pay for parking meters, I'll totally be your BFF...

I think he's on to me...

I tell you I'm the one, then what? Do I get a sticker? The choice between a red and a blue pill? I totally want a sticker...

orly?

by "hopeless romantic", means he just wants a fuck-buddy... yet again, if you have to advertise that you ARE something, I'm willing to bet my entire savings that you aren't.

someone's just a little sure of himself

If you have to tell me you're a good catch, you're probably not.

ZOMGWTFBBQROFLCOPTER

imprettysuretheyalljustexplodedfromhowawesomeyourfreakingheadlineisjustsayin

inquisitive little fella, isn't he?

Somehow, one question mark just didn't do this mystery woman justice...

define "real"...

I'm fairly certain the site has a process to weed out robots, plankton, and inanimate objects... just saying.

And so it begins...

After leaving my ex of 3.5 years, my friend Stephanie decided it was time for me to get some sweet, sweet man-loving. Her bright idea? Creating a profile for me on the dating site Plentyoffish.com... and yes, I do mean she literally sat down at her own computer, and made a profile against my will. Since then I have come to find out that this site would truly get me out of my post-breakup funk... but in a most unexpected way. What I found was that the site was full of total douchebags attempting to look like sensitive souls seeking that one perfect soulmate. Same made absolutely no attempt to hide their douchedom. So it begins... my little project to document the most epic of these idiots.



The concept for this actually came from a friend of mine who has had some pretty hilarious responses to the women on the site, so I'm giving credit where credit is due!